a noose, an oven and a dozen lilies

i met him in the afternoon.
i fell in love with his angular features and his dazzling smile immediately.
he had musicians hands, but he didn't play; instead he traced them down my jawline, skin on skin until i thought i would die.
he had a laughter that lilted, i can still hear it if i think back hard enough.
we were so young, in so many ways.
i can't remember the way he kissed, only that it became familiar far too quickly.
i trusted him much too easily... and he shattered my heart.
he turned cruel then, when he was done with me
and i saw that his angles were hiding a second face.
he infuriated me to apathy.
there was nothing to say, nothing to scream about.
it just was.
he was the second person i ever locked out of my life at that time.
the silence felt powerful.
and i think sometimes back to that time and who i was then.
how indignant i was then.
how utterly horrified at how i'd been treated.
having no idea that so much worse was yet to come and none of it having to do with him.